It wasn’t that long ago boys and girls that our swashbuckling GM, Rubes Jr., traded an ace away for a few middling prospects. Well, just when I think he couldn’t possibly be any dumber, he goes and does something like this…AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!!!

We all beat up GM’s from time to time whether it’s for signing players to bad contracts, trading away prospects we love for crappy rental players or for not making trades we really think they should make. If a move doesn’t pay off, we chastise them for it. If it does work, well, we focus on the players who made it happen. For the most part, it’s a rather thank-less job. But, I really have to hand it to Ruben here, he pulled off quite the coup in the Oswalt deal. It’s enough of a coup actually, that I almost, but not quite, will consider forgiving him for the Cliff Lee Fiasco of 2010.

But, alas, this isn't about Cliff Lee (actually everything is always about Cliff Lee, but I digress). It's about a pitcher named Roy and a dream. A dream to win another World Series and fleece Ed Wade in the process. Did the Phillies realize this dream today? Let's find out.


Here’s the official breakdown:

Phillies Get:

RHP Roy Oswalt

$11,000,000

Ed Wade’s Manhood

Astros Get:

LHP JA Happ

OF Anthony Gose (who was immediately sent to the Blue Jays for 1B Brett Wallace, who was dealt from Oakland to Toronto for ex-Phillies prospect Michael Taylor)

SS Jonathan Villar

If that seems almost too good to be true, it’s because it pretty much is. Considering the Phillies obtained a top 30 pitcher (which is what Oswalt still is) without giving up ANY top prospects (Gose is the closest at #6 per Baseball America) is unbelievable. It’s become apparent that the cost for a good starter (as proven last week as well in the Dan Haren trade) isn’t as high as fans thought. When only a few teams in baseball can afford to take on salary (like the Phillies somehow can) it really limits the number of options team looking to trade have. This, thankfully, dramatically lowered the cost for Oswalt. For most of the morning I heard a lot of names thrown around, but in the end all the top guys like Singleton, Colvin and Cosart remain. That’s good news as the Phillies get better in 2010 and 2011, while still keeping all their high ceiling talent they’ll need to be good in 2012 and beyond. No matter how you slice it, a rotation of Halladay, Hamels, Lee…er…Oswalt looks pretty formidable for the next year +2 months.

So what can we expect from Oswalt? Well, I’d say a 7-4 record with a 3.39 ERA and 74 K’s in 79 IP. The playoffs? Probably a 4-0 record with a 1.56 ERA. Wait, what? Oh, I hadn’t noticed. Those are the exact stats that Cliff Lee put up last year? Interesting. Purely a coincidence, I promise. Ok, I lied, I did that on purpose…but really I expect good things from Roy #2. He’s pitched in big games (he was the 2005 NLCS MVP) and sports a lifetime ERA of 3.24. His K/9 rate is the highest it’s been since his rookie season and he wants to win. Sounds like a guy I want on my side for the stretch run.

To be honest though, I can’t give all the credit to Amaro. Really, he had a lot of help from Ed Wade (unless you believe the report that Astros owner Drayton McLane handled the negotiations directly with David Montgomery, which would be like having two Walrus’s try to decide how much plutonium to put in a bomb, while also fixing our national deficit and figuring out an exit strategy for the Middle East). Trading with Ed Wade is like having your friend buy you a hooker, it’s free and easy sex so you have do it, but it always leaves you feeling dirty and like you ripped him off. So while I can’t blame Amaro for taking advantage of a (PC LANGUAGE ALERT) mentally handicapped person, I still can’t give him full credit. It might not be as easy as taking candy from a baby, but it’s definitely as easy as catching a blowie from a fat chick.

Anyway, this trade puts the Phillies a whole lot closer to a third straight trip to the World Series. Is it a guarantee? Definitely not, but I really like our chances now. The only mini-negative is that we gave up a high-ceiling infielder, something we don’t have much of in our system, and a controllable #5 starter for the next four seasons. But, we won’t miss Gose since we have similar players all over our system in Tyson Gillies, Jiwan James and a host of other ‘toolsy’ outfielders. So as long as Mr. Happ doesn’t develop into Cliff Lee, we’re good. And that has about as much of a chance of happening as me banging a stripper in Vegas during my bachelor party. Which means it would never happen. Cause I don't do that kind of stuff. It's gross. Totally gross.

Go Phils. Let's do it again.

Tom Heckert. Courtesy of Bleeding Green Nation.

We've all heard the stories of how Kolb slays wild hogs for fun.  We also know he's a country boy who loves to talk wildlife and would easily win the TV show 'Survivor' (if it hadn't jumped the shark 10 years ago). 

610 WIP's Anthony Gargano has a published account of yet another badass Kevin Kolb exploit.  SPOILER: it involves snakes, boots, and a .38.













Bleeding Green Nation with the blurb:

["The quarterback slipped off one of his boots – this is why real outdoorsmen wear them – attached it to the end of a stick that he picked from the ground and dangled it in front of the hissing western diamondback. The rattlesnake struck the boot. The boot danced and the snake struck again. And again. Nearly 10 times the snake attacked the boot. Until, finally, the snake recoiled and lay lifeless on the ground. What do you know? It worked. That show on the Discovery Channel reported that a rattlesnake will play dead when prey doesn't fall victim to its spectacular bite. So the quarterback reached down and plucked the rattlesnake by its neck and held it out. With his other hand, he retrieved the .38 caliber handgun fastened to his hip and fired a round into the rattler's head. He then used his favorite pocketknife to cut off the rattles" [Bleeding Green Nation via Fanhouse]

How badass is that? He carries weaponry on his hip and has the same real-world guile that Jamie Moyer has been using on his fastball for the last decade or so.  Stories like these make me like Kevin Kolb more and more - even though I'd never be man enough to do anything Gargano described above.  I'd maybe throw rocks at it from a safe distance.  And that's a big maybe.  I dunno... I probably just lied to your face.  It's far more likely I'd just prance off in the opposite direction.

So what do I take away from this? Our quarterback will put a bullet in the head of anything that gets in his way. Rattlesnakes and defensive backs - you have been warned.

The day has come where all the frustrations of Samuel Dalembert have been lifted off Philadelphia basketball fans' shoulders. Sammy D is no longer a 76er. Like every other Philly sports fan with the ability to put together a complete thought, we here at TheWizWit have hated Sammy since day one. In case you forgot, THIS was the first post to ever appear on this blog.

You’ll be surprised how much my emotions shifted after hearing this news…

The details as reported by ESPN - The Kings have agreed to trade 22 year old, 7 foot center Spencer Hawes and Andres Nocioni to Philly for Dalemberts' $14.8M contract.

First hearing this made happy beyond belief. Sammy Dalembert is a terrible basketball player, and we'll never have to be aggravated by him again. Nocioni is an a decent role player off the bench and Hawes (while a little soft) has showed flashes of promise since being drafted in 2007. (sidebar – the Sixers will still be carrying Nocioni’s $7M salary into 2011, so don’t think that getting rid of Sammy’s contract is going to equal a big FA splash next year.)

HOWEVA - after letting it sink in for approximately three and half minutes, I grew scared. I fear this means the Sixers will not choose Evan Turner #2 and totally fuck up everything I had hoped for.  Not to mention - could they have done better in the deal?  Should they have held out for a late pick as well?  Is Nocioni going to create a greater strain on minutes for Thad and Speights?  Will Hawes be too much of a defensive liability?

Those are all questions bouncing around in my head.  But here are two points why, for the first time, things don't seem as clear cut for Turner as I once thought (hoped).

1). Hawes is only under contract through next season.

2). This comes on the heels of Evan Turners' workout in Philly this morning.

To me, unless they are absolutely in love with Hawes and plan on extending him quickly, the center position is going to be a gaping hole on this team in 2011. And is it possible Doug Collins didn’t like what he saw when Turner worked out earlier today? The whole thing just stinks of the Sixers drafting a big man.

I don’t know... maybe I'm just paranoid, but this team has made a lot of terrible decisions in the past. Right now, I can't help but think that it looks like Favors may be their guy.  I hope I'm wrong and they love Hawes' potential and will still draft Evan Turner.  Should they decide to go with Cousins, I'm not watching basketball next year.

We’ll have to wait till next weeks’ draft to see what happens with the #2 pick. Regardless if your rooting for Turner or Favors, at least enjoy the fact you won’t have to see this clown (see below) anywhere near your basketball team again.

So long Sammy.  I’m sure people in Sacramento don't really care about basketball, so you'll fit in just fine.  At least Sammy got to win that Olympic Hockey gold.

UPDATE! With a new picture from TWW friend Dave P:

Pretty sure Keanu is the only person sad-enough to feel bad that you're gone.