The Incredible Hulk. An Incredible Ass. An Incredible April. Yea, is your team 17-8 without their best player? Probably not.

Cliff. Lee.

Just like they drew it up. Back to back lockdowns of the Nationals bats to win another series. Straight domination by Cliff Lee and a Chooch-Bomb in the 6th was all the Phils needed to head back home with a .750 winning percentage. Now the focus shifts to a certain bashing of the Marlins.

Losing two consecutive games isn’t even possible, right?

Yea, so J-Werth got booed tonight. No big surprise there I guess. He also went 2 for 3 with a ding dong off Heavy B (who is certainly off to quite the start this year, I must add). Either way, the video above is a much better way to remember him than his play tonight. Tonight was like the first time you see your ex after she cheats on you. You're really pissed off at first but then you decide to watch that video you have of her from that time you did her doggie in her parents bedroom. Then you post it on the internets.

F'in Jayson Werth.

Ho hum. Just another 5-1 start to a season, nothing to see here. After worrying about the offense all off-season, the Phillies have now scored 5+ runs in every game (of course losing the only one in which they didn't). Halladay, Lee and Oswalt have looked good. Hamels and Blanton? Eh, not so much. Overall though, this is exactly the start the team needed.

Notoriously slow starter Ryan Howard has come out of the gates hot and almost every regular is hitting over .300 so far. Is it early? Absolutely. But this team has gotten off to some very shitty starts before, so starting like this helps everyone take a deep breath and relax. Sure, the Astros and the Mess aren't expected to sniff 80 wins this year, but April is unpredictable (as you can see with the Orioles and Royals both being in first place). To win games you're supposed, especially early, is a good sign. (Just look at the Red Sox.)

So now our Phightin's head off to Atlanta to face what is likely their biggest competition in the NL (yes, I really think the Braves are the second best team in the NL). While the Braves are off to an underwhelming 3-4 start, they're still a really, really tough matchup for us. The pitching duels:

Friday: Cliff Lee (1-0) v. Tim Hudson (1-0)

Saturday: Roy Oswalt (1-0) v. Brandon Beachy (1-0)

Sunday: Cole Hamels (0-1) v. Lowe (1-1)

Like most series they'll play this year, the Phillies go into every game with the pitching advantage (regardless of Cole's first game, he's better than Lowe). I. Love. It.

Here's to 161-1.

Cliff Lee.

President Obama sent the Phillies to Libya to deal with their Marshmallow Man problem.

Lack of run support was one of the biggest fears heading into the 2011 Phillies season. There was a fear Ryan Howard wouldn't get pitches to hit without Jayson Werth batting behind him; there were also concerns that Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino would not have bounce back years.

Over their three game sweep of the Houston Astros the Phillies scored 21 runs.

Howard's 1st HR of the season killed Gaddafi's dog.

The Phillies also proved that they still had the ability to orchestrate a come-from-behind victory, an important part of their skill set that made them back-to-back National League Champions.

John Mayberry also tore a hole in the roof of that Southwest flight.

This initial show of offensive production is a sign of good things to come, especially after adding their new hitting coach Winston Zeddemore.

Zeddemore, however, could not be reached for a comment.

Roy Halladay is about to announce his presence with authority.

Friday is Opening Day of the 2011 season. The Phillies will host the Houston Astros for a 1 pm puckdrop at Citizens Bank Park. Roy Halladay will start the season for the second straight year, looking to continue his Undertaker-like undefeated streak. His opponent will be former Phillies (bar-fight) starter Brett Myers.

To get you hyped up for a game that will be over by the time you roll out of bed, our foreign correspondents have sent in the following photos from our Japan offices. They truly capture the support the Far East has been showing for a club that's been struggling a lot recently with injuries.

Here we see Phillies fans on vacation, keeping it real. The kid in the background must be tuckered from so many Jose Contreras vs Ryan Madson debates.

Speaking of the closer's role... The Japanese med-student in the background is praying to her cardboard cutout of Brad Lidge, hoping for a healthy recovery. Tough break, Brad.

The Japanese have also built a statue to honor Chase Utley, which they pray to five times a day.

Despite the devastation to the Phillies roster there is still hope for another World Series season. With the help of these intrepid fans this baby will grow up in a world where Cole Hamels has been nothing but earth-shatteringly efficient.

Hooray for the Phillies 2011 Season! A special thanks to our Japanese correspondents for the pictures!

Go gett'em boys!

JUST KIDDING!!!

When the best compliment Charlie Manuel can give you is that you looked "in shape" you might want to consider showing up earlier to BP.

On Wednesday former Mets second baseman Luis Castillo made his spring training debut with the Phillies. In the 4-1 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays Castillo grounded out twice, popped out once, going 0 for 4. No one was expecting a lot from him immediately and the Phillies have seven more spring training games after Wednesday where he can put forth his best effort to piss all over the memory of the late Chase Utley.

never forget.

The guy to keep an eye on though is Michael Martinez. The energetic Rule 5 pick has been on (spring training) fire at third base, and he can play three infield positions and centerfield. With Placido Polanco set to expire like Stop-and-Shop lunchmeat you may want see if Martinez is still available on the waiver wire in your NL East-Only Spring-Training Fantasy League.

There are so many things wrong with this. First the obvious - the Phillie Phanatic, one the most universally beloved mascots in all of sports history, lost in the “Most Awesome Mascot” category - to a deer named Bango. SHENANIGANS I TELL YOU!! What is going on in the world? The Milwaukee Bucks don't even have fans; how the hell did that thing win? My brain is cramping as I try to put rational sense behind it all.

What really chaps my ass is that Cartoon Network decided they're enough of an authority on sports to produce the Hall of Game Awards show in the first place. Nickelodeon already has that whole "children's award show" angle down. Just stick to re-runs Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Dragonball Z, and Adult Swim and everyone will be happy.

I know what you’re saying - "Come on man, stop hating on this kid's show. Nobody watched it anyway." And you know what italicized voice? You're right, it was for the kids. We can't help it if today’s children have the intelligence of a brick when it comes to something as simple as casting an online sports vote. I bet their fathers are same people who got Alonzo Mourning , Vince Carter, and Shaq voted into all those NBA All Star games ages after they were still worthy. FOR SHAME.

We have a very particular set of skills that makes us mildly entertaining for people like you.

In part 1: Our take on the NBA trade deadline

In part 2: We call Wetz to talk Brian Wilson, Phillies, and Fantasy Baseball. Then we call Maurice for a little Jeffrey Lurie Oscar discussion, an intense review of Angelina Jolie's career, and some other randomness.

(Note: we aren't the most technologically savvy people so we're still working out the kinks. Phone calls may be a little fuzzy, and I have no idea if the 1 speaker issue has been resolved. Nonetheless, give it a listen and enjoy)

Part 1
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Part 2
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The Phillies tweeted out this lineup card for today's exhibition game against Florida State. Utley and Rollins will be the only two regulars not in the lineup this afternoon. Don't get too excited Mister Antsy Pants, the game will not be on TV or on the radio. I know, it blows. I was all set to ignore working this afternoon too.

As a quick tidbit, the highly respected Baseball America released their Top 100 Prospects list for 2011. In no surprise, here are the Phils who made the cut and their respective ranking:

4. Domonic Brown
39. Jonathan Singleton
56. Brody Colvin
70. Jarred Cosart

No real surprises here. I've seen Cosart and Colvin flip-flopped in other experts' rankings. I personally think Cosart will be the better of the two.  (I base this soley on his nasty fastball... I really have no business predicting prospects.  I don't know shizz.) But really, those four guys will be vital for the Phillies future and it proves once again, that the farm system is well stocked - even after assembling the greatest pitching rotation in the history of life.

Ok, so that wasted 2 minutes of your life, watching a 19-year old minor league pitcher get all hot and sweaty. For those of you that are now satisfied...there's nothing wrong with that. It's 2011, more power to you.

And for the rest of you...a girl with large breasts solving a Rubik's cube:

By TWW friend 'Anonymous'

Before I give you this prediction, I should let you know that I'm like, half a psychic ova' here. I see things in dreams, I swear to god. And I can also detect left handed people. Basically, I can say what you're thinking, if you said something next to me. Sometimes, I'll be singing a song, and then I turn on the radio, and that song is on, swear to god. So I'm using my powers here, to come up with a prediction of sort. So here it goes: The Phillies are winning 111 games this year.

How did you come up with this arbitrary number? Simple, the universe talks to me. Here's a thing; take the year you were born and add that number to the age you are/will be in 2011. Example, me: 84' + 27= 111. It works for everyone. J-Roll said we were chasing history. 111-51, it's happenin' like Sammy Kapanen.

Baseball is a game of numbers. Any true fan will tell you that. It's the math of the game that makes the most sense, and when you combine the math with wild speculation, and a community college level understanding of logic, it makes perfect sense. If Robert Downey Jr said it, you'd be all like, how clever.

Go Phillies!


[pic via Philly.com / Yong Kim]

This appeared on the great Todd Zolecki's blog this morning. Apparently this photo shoot is actually for a NY magazine. Less surprisingly, they didn't bother to ask Joe Blanton about it.

I know, I know. I thought R2C2 had made a stand against all group photos and interviews that don't include Heavy B too. But in the grand scheme of things, Joe Blanton's homered in a World Series, will have a great year as the 5th starter, and is a millionaire. Don't feel too bad for the guy. He's just happy to be here.

[h/t The Zo Zone]

By TWW friend 'Anonymous'

I know what I am about to say will be met with a lot of mouth farts and head shakes. Many of you will say, "Hey, Anonymous, stick with your obligatory hockey posts and smart ass comments in the comment section." But I keeps it real.

So here it goes: Carlos Ruiz should bat fifth. I, 2, 3, 4, FIF.

Backwards ? Estoy Loco? Maybe... but Chooch is the most underrated player in baseball, both offensively, and in his ability to call a game. Honestly, how many great Phillies moments have you enjoyed at the courtesy of, Ruiz? A lot is the answer. Chooch is clutch. My man, batted .302 last year. Sure, he only had 8 homers and 53 RBIs, but he was just filling his role. He strikes me as a Juan Castillo type, maybe because I perceive them both as Mexicans, or maybe it's because I believe that given the opportunity, Mexicans, no matter what country they are from, will do whatever job is asked of them. Just look at Albert Pujols, Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira, and Juan, from the pizza place... What do all these men have in common? All Mexican, all superstars. I think a hora es aqui para el Chooch.

Of course, I'm only suggesting this line-up against lefties. He's a righty, and we know we need one of those. We've seen his power, and we know he has the capability of getting hot. I'm all about batting him fifth. Still worried about Chooch's numbers? Let's compare them to World Series Champion, Buster Posey's numbers: .305BA, 18HR, 67RBIs. Posey bats in the top half of the Giants lineup, and Ruiz is better than Buster fuckin' ass Posey. You're tellin' me Chooch can't put up those numbers? I can't believe no one is even suggesting it. Let's look at it.

Versus Left: S- Rollins; R- Polanco; L- Utley; L- Howard; R- Ruiz; S- Victorino; L- Ibanez; R- Francisco
Versus Right: S- Rollins; S- Victorino; L- Utley; L- Howard; L- Brown; R- Polanco; L- Ibanez; R- Ruiz

All I know is, that when MLB The Show 11 comes out, this is gonna be my franchise mode lineup. Chooch is a steal in fantasy baseball too. He's ranked like 350 something and everyone knows it's hard to get a good catcher past the 6th round. Fuck Carlos Santana, I'm grabbin' Chooch, late... no homo. It's a stretch, but I'm just thinking outside the caja.

GO PHILLIES

I'm sold. Just give him the job. Having so many veterans around him can only help accelerate his rise to future super-stardom, right? Right?? According to Jim Salisbury's article on CSN Philly, Dom Brown not only fixed the flaw in his swing, but added 10 pounds of muscle as well. I can't wait till he's shagging fly balls in his hat and rocketing moonshot dingers at missile-like speed. It’s going to be epic.

[CSNPhilly]

So earlier this week most of us saw the photo above of Cliff Lee rockin' a "BOOM" shirt. As amazingly awesome as (all alliterations aside) that shirt is, Crossing Broad was able to confirm that they weren't for sale. Stupid Nike.

Thankfully, though, the folks over at I Don't Give A Schmidt took it upon themselves to make one. So, yea, I know what I'll be wearing opening day. I suggest you do the same.

BOOM. Cliff Lee.

[image c/o The Zo Zone]

So I Google "Phillies pitchers" and I found the gem of a photo above. Apparently this was the cover shot for the Dallas Morning News and their 2006 MLB season preview. The Rangers, who must have been so proud of themselves at the time, spent an off-season acquiring past and future Phillies pitchers Adam Eaton, Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla. Not exactly Halladay, Lee and Oswalt (hell, not even Joe Blanton). The Rangers finished that season 80-82, with Eaton making only 12 starts and Millwood and Padilla pitching to 4.50 ERAs. Yea...someone lost their job for that one.

Oh, and the answer to the provocative cover story question? No, no they can't.

All the more reason to love Rubes. And our pitching staff.

Smile.

[photo via phillies.com]

I'm so ready for this season to start. My child-like impatience is making me sick of all the Spring Training countdowns... I just want baseball and I want it right now. I don’t even care that the guy who made the video made some of those nicknames up. This video is well done, satisfies my daily craving of baseball, and managed to get me even more pumped for April 1st.

Go Phils!

[h/t to our friends at TheSchoolPhilly]

Click play below to enjoy the soothing sounds of our voices as we discuss topics ranging from Juan Castillo to Prince Fielder's fat ass.

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Boom. Victorino's quote isn't much of a stretch considering everyone who watches baseball is going with Philly vs Boston. And while it's a pretty harmless offseason quote, it makes me even giddier for the season to start. Or maybe it's just that beady-eyed lemur. I’m not sure which.

[quote via HardballTalk]