The season might be over, but I was delighted to see Shady McCoy still talking shit. Even as he's partying his ass off into the wee hours of the morning, he took time out to take a little dig at the Giants and I think that’s pretty friggin cool. It makes him feel more like a real person rather than just some apathetic, high maintenance athlete. Maybe diva-ness doesn't kick in til year 3 of your NFL career. Anywho, glad to see Shady is enjoying himself.

We're all pretty depressed today, but I figured I'd throw up some videos in an attempt to get some of you to smile.

Remember, the 2010 Eagles season was pretty good, for most of it anyway.











Go Birds.

The Phillies beat the Eagles in the Local TV Ratings Bowl Sunday night, defeating the long-time champs 27.7 to 24.1.

There has been some chatter concerning the implications of these numbers, some now claiming that Philly has shifted from a football town to a baseball town. Not a bad argument -- the Phillies are the only Philadelphia professional sports team to win a championship in my whole mothercursing lifetime. Others will argue that more people turned into the Phillies/Reds NLDS game because it was a playoff game and it's only week 5 in the NFL. Also -- a decent argument.

I think we're both...at least right now. The city is in a transition period where its' favorite son has been overshadowed in recent years by his much more successful younger brother (or sister). This is the closest the two sports have been in popularity in some time and we should all just be thankful that neither of these teams have been managed by anyone who had anything to do with the Sixers. Forserious.

Oh yeah, and they both won. So what did we learn from the Birds win Sunday? Well Kevin Kolb Earns his Scrilla, Ribs Ain't No Thang, Bye Bye Bunkley, King Dunlap is the New Winston Justice, Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter, We Built This City on Turn-o-vers, and Trevor Laws Wins the Game.

Kevin Kolb Earns his Scrilla - 21/31 for 253 yards and a touchdown. No turnovers. A 103.3 QB Rating. Think about how this season may play out. There are currently ZERO 4-0 teams. None. This whole thing is even more unsettled when you look at the NFC East: three teams at 3-2 and the Cowboys still waiting to join the party. So what am I getting at?

Mike Vick is going to be Mike Vick; he's going to take off and run several times a game. What's almost certain is that A) he's going to fumble sometimes and B) he's going to get dinged up. Some of this pain he can play through and some he can't: his rib cartilage being the latter. Who knows how many games 30 year-old Vick can miss in a full season? Having a Starter #2 QB like Kevin Kolb makes Eagles' wins not just easier -- but possible. KK Hogmurder just won a game in a tight division and is worth every penny.

Ribs Ain't No Thang - Another week, another fantastic performance. LeSean McCoy has shown to be the best player on the field for much of these games and against the Niners he did it with CRACKED RIBS. So for God's sake Chris Collinsworth, there was no need to crucify the kid for trying to make a smart play and sliding a bit short. Collinsworth stopped just short of calling him a "fucking asshole" on the air when that happened. Cool ya jets, turkeyneck. Shady's an effing Pro Bowler: 11th in the league in rushing, 15th in the league in receiving. Yeah, he's ahead of Larry Fitzgerald, Wes Welker, Calvin Johnson, and Andre Johnson in receptions.

Bye Bye Bunkley - Aaaand another season-ending injury. Jeff Owens got the nod to replace Broderick on most downs because of Owens' ability to play the run. You might remember Jeff Owens from such Philadelphia Eagles activities as Standing on the Sideline and Watching the Game from Home Because I'm on the Practice Squad. Prepare for the run defense to suffer even more.

King Dunlap is the New Winston Justice - Remember that game like three years back when Osi Umenyiora sacked McNabb 37 times because Winston Justice was warm and naked and scared of playing football? Well, although Dunlap's day wasn't quite as horrendous, there were stretches where he looked real bad. I know Andy, I like his name too...but maybe this guy isn't the best option to be backing up your bijillionaire laying-on-the-ground-injured-four-times-a-game left tackle. Or maybe he'll be good in three years. Probly not though.

Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter -

Ehhh 2nd or 3rd...ish?

We Built this City on Turn-o-vers - Terrible, I know. I'm ashamed of myself for first writing it, but even more so for not taking the time to go back and think of something more clever afterward. Maybe it's funny in an ironic way, like if I recognize its absolute lack of creativity? No? Okay I'll move on.

When the Eagles traded Lito Sheppard and shook the money tree at former Patriot Free Agent Asante Samuel, they knew what their team needed: turnovers. They were looking for a ball hawk CB to jump lazy routes when the opposing QB feels pressure from the blitz. Not much has changed. We traded McNabb for a new rookie Free Safety (with three INTs already by the way) and beefed up our D-Line with the hopes of creating the pressure that creates turnovers. Good work so far: 15 sacks, 8 INTs, 3 Fumble Recoveries, and a TD.

Trevor Laws Wins the Game - I wasn't as mad about LeSean sliding short of the first down at the end of the game as I was about the following 3rd and 2 playcall. Quick slant...to BRENT CELEK. Are you fartin' me, Andy? You have the fastest player in the league, a RB that's been dominating all day, and a bigger possesion receiver with sure hands...and you call a quick slant to your TE. Stop trying to be smarter than you need to be. If our defense didn't stand up and we lost that game, I wouldn't have blamed McCoy, I would have blamed the coaching staff for that dumbass 3rd down call.

But the defense did hold up, and in the next series our mustacheo'd homeboy Trevor "OBEY THE LAWS" Laws put the pressure on Alex Smith and he threw the game-losing INT as a result. This game could and would have ended up much differently if Laws didn't step up here.


They got an away-game win against a desperate team fighting for its' season. Falcons next. Will Vick play? A lot more needs to get settled before Sunday.

Go Birds.




Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

So for those of you keeping score at home: McNabb out, Kolb in, Kolb out, Vick in, Vick out, Kolb in. And hopefully Kolb out. Very, very soon.

I may stand alone here as the guy starting the slow clap for our former QB, but it's totally justified. We got what we deserved. McSoup didn't play great, but he played well enough to win a game he probably wanted more than any of us could imagine. Hogmurder had his shot at history -- and beating McNabb in his first return game after Vick got injured would surely be historic -- but alas, it was not to be.

So what did we learn? Kevin Kolb is a Scared Shell of a Quarterback, Owen is the Schmitt, Appreciate Shady, Eagles got Clocked, Mike Bell Sucks, Where's the Rush?, Asante's Business Decisions, Countdown to Meltdown, The Prophet Barkley, and McNabb's Last Laugh.

Kevin Kolb is a Scared Shell of a Quarterback - Make no mistake -- this is not the same Kevin Kolb we saw last year. Remember the guy who was the first ever to throw for 300 yards in his first two starts? That obviously wasn't the same dude who took the field after Vick's awesome-injury-scramble-to-the-endzone-that-never-happened. You don't get to 300 yards dunking the ball to your running back every play, you get it by throwing deep and on time to your Pro Bowl-calibur WRs. The guy that has been playing in the Kevin Kolb jersey since the regular season started is NOT the same person who allowed the Eagles to trade Donovan McNabb with confidence. That dude was pretty good. This guy looks like vagina personified.

I know what you're thinkin: "I knew there was no way a QB with those stupid black spandex sleeves could be good!" And maybe you're right. But I know I saw a different quarterback last year and in training camp than the one I was forced to watch Sunday. Kevin, it's obvious you're looking to avoid that soul-crushing Pick Six and the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra of boos that go along with it, but playing it safe is only making you look like a beaten and terrified shell of a football player. You're probably going to start for the foreseeable future. You've gotta find a way to play like you've got nothing to lose, even if the complete opposite is true.

Owen is the Schmitt - I almost forgot this guy was on the team. Like the rebound girl you end up dating, Owen Schmitt has been nothing short of a pleasant surprise after an epic backwards-knee catastrophe ended Leonard Weaver's career season. Four catches for 43 yards? I'll take it. Thank the lord Jeebus that you can catch. With the possibility of Shady being out...any chance you can run, too? White fans will love you!

Appreciate Shady - Speaking of Shady, what more can I say about the kid? It seems like every week I'm praising him for one thing or another. Just another day at the office for LeSean McCoy: 64 yards rushing and 12 catches for 110 yards receiving. My man was the best player on the field EVEN AFTER PLAYING THE ENTIRE SECOND HALF WITH A FRACTURED RIB. If LeSean has to stay out any considerable amount of time, I think we'll soon realize how much this team depends on his production. Sure, he had that big fumble...but the dude had a broken rib. Some slack? You needs ta cuts him some.

Eagles Got Clocked - Andy Reid is a moron. That being said, the whole fiasco at the end of the half was not entirely his fault. When the ref came back from review, he said very clearly that the play stands. Then the ball was moved back from 4th and inches to 4th and 1 -- with zero explanation. If the play stands, then the ball should stay put, no? If you changed the yardage after review, then you say that when you announce your decision. Can't have it both ways. So yes, Andy Reid is a time-blind dummyface. But he was also given the thick black shaft by the refs. The cost? Well, the game, probably.

Mike Bell Sucks - God he fucking sucks...and I was so excited when we signed him, too! He ran so strong for New Orleans last year that either A) the tank is empty or B) this year was just a paycheck for him. It's a good thing the Birds are looking into signing Marshawn Lynch because there is no way we can go into a game with Mike '2.0 yards a carry' Bell as the #1 RB. Mike Bell sucks.

Where's the Rush? - One sack. One. And it was by Ernie Sims. Was defending the zone blocking scheme that hard where you couldn't get past a pretty bad Offensive line? Trent Cole -- you were facing a backup! You guys are jerks.

Asante's Business Decisions - I was always the first person to defend Asante whenever someone would bring up his lack of tackling, but Sunday was a disgrace. He deserved his 22 Tackle rating in Madden.  He likes to make what Deion Sanders calls "business decisions" when it comes to tackling. That is, not putting yourself in a position to get hurt tackling and making your money on INTs. I dig. But you can't just shoulder guys and/or completely duck away from them when they initiate contact. You played like Pussasaurus Rex for the majority of the game and STILL got a concussion. Asante -- hit somebody next time, homeboy.

Countdown to Meltdown - If Kevin Kolb is as ineffective next week as he was this week throwing the ball down field this week, I'm pretty sure DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin are going to go T.O. all over his ass. Maclin's frustration was obvious. It'll be more so after an entire week of preparation with a similar result.

The Prophet Barkley -

Charles Barkley, pictured HERE with his 3 favorite things in the world (hint: it's white women), has always been very vocal about his love of Donovan and his disdain for an Eagles organization that he felt never gave Mac-5 his just due. Well, Charles, you were calling this game for quite some time and you were right. It's funny -- I can't really think of any other Philadelphia athlete that could pull all the shit you have and still remain a fan favorite. Fights, casino debts, harsh words about the Philadelphia fanbase, DUIs...and we still love you. What gives? Did you win a bet with Satan and ask for eternal immunity? Cause here I thought you were turrible at gambling.

McNabb's Last Laugh - Donovan McNabb beat the Eagles in Philly against BOTH of their replacement quarterbacks.  Phase one of Donovan's quest is complete. Phase two involves a deep playoff run and a Super Bowl victory. Phase two will never happen.

But a sincere congratulations is in order for the man who personally made me a Philadelphia Eagle fan above all other sports teams in this city.  He deserved this game and deserves all the success (and future dirt-ball failures) that lay ahead.  Best of luck in the future to the greatest quarterback in the history of this team.

Next up: Kevin Kolb/Mike Bell vs. the San Francisco 49ers.  I have a soft spot for the Niners ever since I went to San Fran and realized it is one of the coolest cities I've ever been to.  And I'm straight!  If you get the chance, go there.  I just hope this time next week they're 0-5.

Go Birds.

h/t to the700level for the Barkley pic.

Okay, I've got a confession to make: I didn't actually watch this game per se. My gf (who does my photoshop for free) got good tickets to Mets/Braves and I couldn't turn down the chance to root against the Braves and boo everything in sight for 3 hours. So yeah, I missed the Michael Vick Experience in his full experienceness and because DirecTV hates me, the game didn't properly dvr. So here I am providing commentary based on dozens of highlights, conversation with Eagles fans, conversations with Eagles haters, websites, other blogs, personal expertise and my own real-time neurotic checking of the box score.

So what did we learn? Well, Mike Bell Sucks Now, The Experience is Back, What About Shady?, Omar Gaither is the Worst, Jason Peters and the Magic Injury Machine, Defensive Tackles work Half Days, Special Thanks to Special Teams, NFC LEast?, Nate Allen DROY, and Juqua Parker Loves Sacks

Mike Bell Sucks Now - I say "now" because, like you, I saw this dude run over people last year for the Saints.  What happened?  Mikey...I don't like it.  Every couple of minutes I would glance down at my phone and see "Mike Bell carries for -2 yards."  I swear I saw that like 25 times.  I don't know what it is with him, but the harsh reality with RBs is that one second they'll have it, and the next they won't.  I'll give Bell another week because he's an (accomplished?) veteran, but if things don't change it may be time to move on.  Like how the Eagles did today by signing Bills practice squad RB Joique Bell.  Joique is a WAY cooler name than Mike...pack your bags we got a better Bell, bro.

The Experience is Back - What else can be said about the guy?  By the look of his pocket presence, I guess it's true that you can teach an old dog new tricks.  He scratched and clawed his way out of a ruff offensive line situation and doggoneit he impressed us all.  Every dog has its day and Sunday was MV7's.  Shtick!

What About Shady? -  Lost in the Michael Vick hype machine was the fact that LeSean "Shady" McCoy rushed for a 120 and 3 TDs.  Where's the press for this kid?  In two games he's already tied his number of rushing TDs from last year (4) and looks like he deserves to be fed the ball much, MUCH more.  I even heard that mindless dickface Jamie Dukes give Mike Vick FULL credit for Shady's success because he took the attention of the D away from McCoy.  Number one -- fuck you, Jamie Dukes.  You're a hack who's lucky to have a job in this economy.  Number two -- while I acknowledge that Vick's presence is a boon for any runningback, HE'S STILL THE ONE RUNNING THE BALL!  Great game from #25...we may just have to wait a little while longer until the mainstream media gives him his credit.  Did someone say 6.75 yards per carry?

Omar Gaither is the Worst -

This is one of the first pictures that came up when I Googled "the worst."  So I guess Omar is as bad as this album cover. He's terrible.  So so terrible.

I think a considerable amount of our defensive woes can and will be remedied by StuBrad's return.

Jason Peters and the Magic Injury Machine - Is it just me or does JP go down like 2-3 times a game?  I just know that the one time I say "Why is the hell is he down again?  Did he hurt himself lining up offsides?" he'll be done for the year.  So yeah, I'll keep playing along...but The Big False Start better keep getting back up.
[sidebar: I say this with love.  There seems to be a large contingent of Eagle fans who genuinely think Jason Peters sucks, which is far from true.  Sure, the guy gets called for a couple penalties per game, but I'll take 10 yards of penalties over 30 yards of DE sacks and an injured QB.  Dude is a talent.  Just maybe a tad slow in the brains.]

Defensive Tackles Work Half Days - I gotta give Sean McDermott credit -- I like what he's doing by moving QB-hunting rookie DE Brandon Graham inside to DT on passing downs to get extra pressure.  It's a great technique to get in the face of opposing quarterbacks.  You know whats another great technique? DEFENSIVE TACKLES THAT CAN GET TO THE QUARTERBACK.  Now, I'm not completely shitting on Mike Patterson and Broderick Bunkley, but there's a reason they get third downs off.  They're run stoppers, plain and simple.  It may be time next year to invest a high pick on a well-rounded DT.  Or, you know, an entire offensive line.

Special Thanks to Special Teams - Better coverage this week so credit to Bobby April.  Hey...lookin' good, Rocca.

NFC LEast? - Wow, the Cowboys look bad.  And so did the Giants.  And the Redskins just lost to a team coached by this guy. That whole best-division-in-football thing is lookin pretty flimsy.

Nate Allen DROY - Nine tackles and 2 picks in two games? Defensive Rookie of the Year? Could happen. Consider the fact that you haven't had to even think about him.  He held his own against the #1 or #2 offense in the league in his first game ever and his position was never a worry.  I know it's early, but the Birds taking Graham in the first round this year over Earl Thomas and coming back to nab Allen in the second looks pretty smrt.

Juqua Parker Loves Sacks - Both. Kinds.


Conclusion: It got too close there at the end and the defense showed that they are completely dependent upon Stewart Bradley. But a win is a win. Jacksonville is next and I think everyone knows it's time for Kevin Kolb to not look scared, to not get concussed, and to show us something. We'll see.  Go Birds.

(main Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)