Tonight. the New England Patriots beat the Denver Broncos 45-10 to advance to the second round of the NFL playoffs. Many amazing facts and stats were accrued, including Tom Brady's 363 passing yards and Rob Gronkowski's three touchdowns and 145 receiving yards, both tying for most in NFL postseason history. But there were some other surprising facts and stats in Denver's loss to the Patriots. What were they?
10) Patriots owner Robert Kraft ate more hot dogs by the first quarter than Tebow had completions all night.9) Even Patriots head coach Bill Belichick screamed at Broncos offensive squad over subpar play.8) John Elway called Denver locker room at halftime to offer to come out of retirement.7) Jesus severed ties with Tim Tebow for better endorsement deal.6) Fellow evangelical QB and Patriots victim Kurt Warner called Tebow after game to suggest suicide pact.5) Tim Tebow was sacked only three fewer times than all of Bain Capital's employees combined.4) Broncos cheerleaders smoking in Gillette Stadium's parking lot after halftime.3) Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien caught slipping suggestions to Tebow and the offensive line.2) Tim Tebow completed fewer passes than Herman Cain.1) That Jesus stops trying to save Mankind every Sunday to personally help Tim Tebow. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Tebow it was Saturday night.
