Dolla Dolla Bills Yall: Week 12 NFL Spread Picks

There's no fictional animal in the world scarier than flying sharks. No jackalopes. No centaurs. No warecows. Nothing. You're scared of us, humans, which is totally irrational since only ONE of you die from our attacks per year. And that's only because were nice and you guys taste bad. But if we could fly...oh boy. We'd be a whole lot scarier to you jerks than an STD or some dude on your flight wearing a turban. Anyway, check out the immeasurable awesomeness of this picture. It has many of the basic components of the absolutely ridiculous: sharks, explosions, chaos, sky diving, and highly skilled government agents. It's like a Jason Statham movie captured in one single picture.

Alright, so last week the Shark put together another winning campaign with a 9-7 effort. That brings us to 85-69-6 on the year. Without further ado, hit the jump for your Week 12 picks. Due to the Holiday and my immense amount of laziness, you're not getting commentary about each game. We've done this grouping format in the past, so you'll have to deal with it for a week. Enjoy your week off from me shitting on the Bengals, Jaguars and Chiefs.

Your Turkey Day Results via Our Twitter Picks:
LIONS (+6.5) over Patriots
COWBOYS (-3.5) over Saints
JETS (-9) over Bengals

Your 3 Team Parlay For Sunday:
Vikings (+1) over REDSKINS
TEXANS (-6.5) over Titans
SEAHAWKS (+2) over Chiefs

Teams Coming Off A Blowout Loss Tend To Cover The Following Week:
BRONCOS (-4) over Rams

The Games Only Degenerates Are Betting:
Panthers (+10) over BROWNS
Dolphins (+2.5) over RAIDERS

The Ones I Kinda Feel Good About, But Am Too Much of a Pansy To Bet:
FALCONS (-2) over Packers
Eagles (-3.5) over BEARS
COLTS (-3) over Chargers

Don't Get Cute, These Are Really Too Close to Call:
GIANTS (-7.5) over Jaguars
RAVENS(-7.5) over Buccaneers

Super Sneaky Pick Alert!
BILLS (+7) over Steelers

I Feel Bad For Fans of Either of These Teams:
49ers (-1) over CARDINALS

Good luck and enjoy the games everyone!

[pic via bit-tech.net]