Reports: Cheney, Rumsfeld arrested in D.C. park for "lewd conduct."

Reports have surfaced that former Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld were arrested on Tuesday in a Washington D.C. park for "lewd conduct." According to several witnesses, the two men disappeared into some nearby bushes carrying various pictures and materials related to 9/11, a strange white powder and several toy tanks. Police were called after visitors to the park heard unusual sounds coming from their location, just a few miles from the White House.

D.C. police are refusing to confirm the incident, and have denied reports that the toy tanks, white powder and 9/11 materials were being used, as has been suggested by some witnesses, for sexual purposes. Representatives for the two men have declined to comment other than dismissing the story as "overblown nonsense."