Showing posts with label kobe bryant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kobe bryant. Show all posts

At Least We're Not Cleveland...Part Deux

Published by Julia Volkovah under , , , on 10:39 AM


Wow. As you've probably seen by now, the Lakers beat the Cavaliers 112-57 last night...a 55-point bitch-slap of epic proportions. They were outscored by at least 15 points in each of the first three quarters and shot an almost unbelievable 29.9% from the floor. This game marked their 21st loss in their last 22 games. Yuck. (Consider this - since LeBron returned to Cleveland on December second, the Heat are 18-1. The Cavs? 1-19. Seriously.)

To make matters worse, LeBron has jumped on the bandwagon, sending out the tweet above last night during the massacre. If there was someone in Cleveland that didn't hate LeBron yet, they certainly aren't a fan anymore.

So, kids, as we continue to wallow in the sad misfortunes of our football team, remember one thing. At least we're not Cleveland.




Kobe: Stay the Hell Away From My Football Team

Published by Julia Volkovah under , on 11:26 AM

Kobe -- I like you. Considerably more than most people do. You're from my home town, one of the greatest players to ever touch a basketball, and my dad even claims to have played ball with your dad at one point. But hear me loud and clear when I say this: stay away from the Eagles.

You're a fan of the Birds and Mike Vick and all that and I get it, but chances are it was your unnecessary "Be Epic!" gift to our starting quarterback that caused him to throw the ball up to Riley Cooper in the end zone rather than take his time and clock it. Then you decide to wear his jersey in your post-game interview?

Kobe, again, I like you. But when it comes to the Eagles -- Fuck Off.


h/t Cosby Sweaters

Who's Up For Stealing the NHL's Idea?

Published by Julia Volkovah under , , , on 1:18 PM

Have you heard about the fantastic concept the NHL will adopt for their All Star game this year? You didn't? It's OK, if you’re like most people, you don’t bother listening during the hockey segments of SportsCenter. Let me break it down for you:
1. Fans vote for their favorite hockey players to be included in the All Star game.

2. The chosen players will vote amongst themselves to choose two captains.

3. A FANTASY DRAFT IS THEN HELD where the two captains take turns picking the remaining players to fill out their respective squads.

4. After the NHL All Star game is completed, people will realize the draft was more fun than sitting through the actual game.
That last point is just my hypothesis, but it's rather likely. So how can we improve on this intuitive idea? Steal it and implement it in the NBA. Choosing teams playground-style works even better for basketball. There are too many players and specific positions in the NFL to have fun with it. MLB could use this to improve the dreadful All Star product they currently force down our throats, but there's really no denying this would work best in basketball.

Imagine how fun it would be to watch LeBron and Kobe picking teams:

Kobe: I'll take my man Kevin Durant.
LeBron: I select LeBron James.
Kobe: (looking at LeBron) I'll take Kobe.
LeBron: Gimme DWade.
Kobe: (glaring) Pau Gasol.
LeBron: Fine. I'll take Bosh.
Kobe: Delonte West.
LeBron: Fuck you.

Then when Chris Kaman and Andrew Bogut are the last picks, we'd all laugh. Good times.

Anyway, if NBA could make this team selection process part of their All Star Weekend festivities, I'd sure as hell watch. It's infinitely more entertaining than watching Leandro Barbosa, Thunder Dan Majerle and some WNBA chick compete in the utterly face-numbing 'Shooting Stars Competition'.

Although watching a 300lb Magic Johnson miss half court shots for 3 straight minutes is damn entertaining.

A Few NBA Predictions to Chew On

Published by Julia Volkovah under , , , , , on 3:53 PM

With a separate Sixers Preview on it’s way, I figured I’d jot down some quick NBA predictions since, ya know, I do predictions so friggin’ well and all. This NBA season promises to be one of the most interesting in recent memory. LeBron's talents have been brought to South Beach, Chris Bosh joined him, Kevin Durant is the best pure scorer since MJ, Shaq is now a Celtic, Dwight Howard has something to prove, Melo should be a Knick or Net at some point, a pending lockout is on the horizon, Evan Turner might suck, John Wall is nasty, the Spurs make their last stand and the Cavs will be terrible. Ultimately, all of that should make for great theater.

So, without further ado: 5 Things That Will Happen This Year:

1) Kevin Durant will win the MVP. It will be difficult for LeBron to win a third straight when Dwayne Wade will likely be just as instrumental in the Heat’s success. Carmelo is too unhappy, Chris Paul doesn’t have enough talent around him and Dirk is simply too boring. I say the award comes down to Durant and an “on a mission” Dwight Howard. A dark-horse could be a healthy Brandon Roy, but that’s never going to happen (the healthy part).

2) John Wall will win the Rookie of the Year award. I know a lot is being made of Blake Griffin, especially with him dominating in the preseason, but Wall is just a special talent. He should immediately be a great defender and he’s way too quick for any point guard in the Eastern Conference to guard (minus Rondo or maybe Jrue). I fully expect him to explode on the scene, think Derrick Rose-type rookie numbers with more assists and steals. You’re looking at an 18/7/4 guy, with a steal or two per game. Unless Griffin goes 22/12 off the bat (which I guess he totally could do) he won’t win the award over Wall.

3) The Miami Heat will win the East. Listen, you’re going to hear a bunch of experts talk about how the Heat won’t gel enough to win and that teams like the Celtics and Magic will play better team basketball (you know, the kind of basketball that wins in the playoffs). You’ll also hear that they don’t have the bench, or the size to match up with Dwight Howard and a Celtic team that throws multiple O’Neal’s (Shaq and Jermaine) and eventually a healthy Kendrick Perkins at you. That may be true, but it’s been a long ass time since we had two of the five best NBA players on the same team. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade might even be the best TWO players in the league (sorry Kobe). Sometimes something looks so plausible that people try to find holes in it since nothing is supposed to be “too good to be true.” Well, this is. The Heat are going to the NBA finals.

4) The Lakers will three-peat as NBA champions. However, I still believe that the Lakers are better than the Heat. As they proved against the Celtics, they have more size than anyone can handle and I’m willing to bet they bring Bynum along slowly this year to make sure he recovers fully from his knee surgery. They won’t need him until the playoffs, so if he’s back before the All-Star break I’d be surprised. The Lakers won’t face too much of a challenge in the conference, the Suns aren’t as good without Amare’s scoring, the Thunder still need a big man and the Spurs are just too old. The Mavs have a team built to win in 2005, the Blazers can’t stay healthy and the Jazz just don’t have enough scorers. Ultimately the Lakers should coast to a meeting with the Heat in the finals. There, I believe their length wins out. Kobe will get ring #6. And you know what that means…

5) The ‘Is Kobe better than Jordan?’ conversation will get really annoying. It already is, but most experts, ex-players, analysts, etc. always say, “Listen, Jordan won six rings. For Kobe to even get into the convo, he’ll have to do the same. Then, we’ll talk.” So, yea, that’s going to happen this year, meaning it’s time to talk. I’m not saying that this is real news per say, since people have been comparing Jordan and Kobe for years. What I’m saying is that Kobe winning another title will stoke the fire to an all-time high, something none of us are prepared for. ESPN has probably already prepared 497 different graphs and charts comparing the two, and PTI and Around the Horn are blocking off all of next June to discuss. Prepare yourselves. You’ve been warned.

East Standings Predictions:
Atlantic Division: Celtics; Knicks; Sixers; Nets; Raptors
Central: Bulls, Bucks, Pacers, Cavs, Pistons
Southeast: Heat, Magic, Hawks, Bobcats, Wizards

West Standings Predictions:
Northwest: Thunder, Blazers, Jazz, Nuggets, Timberwolves
Pacific: Lakers, Suns, Clippers, Kings, Warriors
Southwest: Mavericks, Spurs, Rockets, Grizzlies, Hornets

Eastern Conference Finals - Heat over Magic

Western Conference Finals – Lakers over Spurs

Finals – Lakers over Heat

Sixers Record – 34 – 48. Evan Turner's rookie line: 11 ppg, 4.5 assists, 4 rebounds. Iggy still doesn't make an All-Star team. Elton Brand averages 16 ppg.

Enjoy the season.

Ron Artest Wouldn’t Even Do This

Published by Julia Volkovah under , on 11:21 AM
Here we have Kobe Bryant and family celebrating the NBA Championship in Disneyland.

Is it me, or is Kobe committing a pretty big foul here? You can't go around wearing a t-shirt featuring a big picture of your OWN face. Didn't anyone tell him the lead singer can't wear a shirt with the name of the band on it? If nothing else, it just looks… uh, goofy (PUN INTENDED! HONK, HONK!)

Seriously though… come on Kobe, you're better than that.


[Pic via Ocean County Register thru 'Recommended Reading' at the700level]
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