CantonRep.com - Running back Peyton Hillis opened up about his lost year in Denver and his newfound stardom in Cleveland on a [Dan Patrick's] national radio show Wednesday. Patrick asked Hillis about the novelty of being a white running back in the NFL. Hillis said the topic is thrown in his face directly and indirectly, regularly ... [and] said his complexion always came up on the field.“Every team did it,” he said. “They’ll say, ‘You white boy, you ain’t gonna run on us today. This is ridiculous. Why are you giving offensive linemen the ball?’
“All kinds of stuff like that you hear on the field, but I use that to my advantage. I kind of soaked it in, ate it up a little bit, because I enjoyed it.”
Hillis has heard nicknames suggested right and left. Patrick said his favorite is “The Avalanche,” to which Hillis responded: “I heard that one. I heard ‘White Rhino.’ I heard ... Chuck Norris.’”

I have a strict policy when it comes to racism: it's only okay if it's funny. If what you say is a legitimately funny joke, all should be forgiven. Like as the black dude with a lot of white friends I've been hearing shit since I was in elementary school. I've got thick skin. I can take it. But what's the point of just being a racist asshole if you're not going to at least be funny about it? Black joke that ends with some sort of slavery or hanging reference -- not funny. Black joke that makes a reference to something less obvious like cocoa butter or menthol cigarettes -- I might chuckle.

But I digress. Just calling Peyton Hillis "white boy" and being insulting is not funny and, therefore, racist. Asking why the Browns are giving offensive lineman the ball? Eh...pretty funny. I'm glad to see that the guy has a good attitude about the whole thing and uses it for motivation. Plus, you know, The Avalanche and White Rhino nicknames are only gonna bring him marketing opportunities and more money.

Make sure you cash in on that shit, Norris.

DListed - Two years ago, Sammy Sosa showed up to the Latin Grammys looking like the head make-up artist on White Chicks put way too much cream in his coffee. Sammy blamed it on a cosmetic cream and his skin turned back to its natural color a few months later. Well, I guess somebody mixed Sammy's moisturizer and toner with Sun-In and Clorox again, because he showed up to Pitbull's 30th birthday party in Miami looking an undercooked turkey meatball.

I guess the cream on the knuckles didn't take?

Daaaamn Sammy...in '98 you was the maaaan Sammy. The fuck happened to you?

Oh who doesn't love the friendly office wager.

A fellow employee -- who for the sake of privacy we'll call "Edward McFalconsfan" -- and I were engaged in a work week of casual shit-talking since last Monday. The final resolution? Whoever is the fan of the losing team must change their desktop wallpaper to a background of the winner's choosing and leave it there for a week.

Edward McFalconsfan, enjoy your week. I came into work early on a Monday just to MS Paint this for you.

So what did we learn? Wetz was Wrong, Chad Hall is the Beneficiary of Racism, Dunta Robinson is a Fucking Asshole, Give McDermott His Credit, Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter, Won in the Trenches, Wide Left, and Vick is Still the Starter.

Wetz was Wrong - The place: our comments section.  The day: October 7, 2010. The time: 12:33 PM. The words:

"Kevin Kolb sucks. It's been decided, end of story. If you look that uncomfortable in an NFL game, after three years in the league, you ain't got a prayer."

3:49 PM:

"I'm not on any ledge. Kevin Kolb sucks, that's reality. I'm not abandoning hope when it comes to Kolb, I never had hope in him to begin with. There's a difference."

Well, 579 yards, 4 TDs, and a 118.5 QB Rating later, it looks like reality has made quite the fool of our fellow WizWitter.

Kevin has looked nothing short of amazing in the past two starts, and while I refuse to use the word "poise" when describing any NFL quarterback, hes looked quite...comfortable running the offense during his stretch as starter.

Oh, and FYI:

"maurice said...
I've always been higher on Kolb than a lot of people, and while I wrote this post and saw his terrified little-boy face last Sunday, I feel okay about his chances going forward.
He's made the throws before, it's just about -- as Hard Knocks Rex Ryan would say -- 'letting his nuts drop'."


Chad Hall is the Beneficiary of Racism - Wes Welker. Julian Edelman. Danny Amendola. Danny Woodhead. Chad Hall. That's the order in which it happened.

I'm not blind, NFL. I see what you're doing here.

And has anyone ever seen any of these guys in the same place at the same time? I swear they're all the same person. Finkle is Einhorn! Ton Loc is Marino!

Dunta Robinson is a Fucking Asshole - You see what you did, dummy? You nearly killed you both. You're the reason mothers don't let kids play football.

Give McDermott His Credit - The Falcons were #2 in rushing in the NFL. They only gained 65 yards on the ground Sunday. Sean McDermott's game planning has been solid enough to withstand the loss of his #1 CB last week and his starting DT this week. You know those moments when the entire D line shifts left or right simultaneously just before the play is a run to that side? That's what good coaching looks like.

Kevin Kolb Trade Meter - 

Won in the Trenches - Patchwork O-line giving Kolb time to throw + D-line stuffing the run and getting pressure on the QB = Victory.

Football is as simple as that.

Wide Left - Akers missed a bunch of field goals but I think he'll be fine and I only wrote this long run-on sentence so I could link to this fantastic picture I found while searching Google images for "bad kicker."

Vick is Still the Starter - I'll keep this short: fans forget too quickly. If you doubters don't remember, Mike Vick was doing much of the same stuff Kevin Kolb is doing: 575 yards passing, 5 TDs, and a 113.6 QB Rating. There is one huge difference between the two, though -- Vick has 67 yards and a TD on the ground. The threat that Vick poses with his feet allows other guys to get open and is something that is immeasurably important to an offense predicated on big plays such as ours.

Vick is starting. Until he starts throwing picks.


Titans up next. Go Birds.

<a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=c384b41e-b9a4-47eb-a2a2-95188fbb01d4&from=IV2_en-us_foxsports_articles" target="_new" title="Schein: Eagles not rebuilding">Video: Schein: Eagles not rebuilding</a>
As reported in yesterdays Quality Eagles OTA Coverage, Fox Sports writer Adam Schein is very high -- excuse me -- boom on the Eagles' chances in 2010. Check out this video of Adam with Kevin Kolb and Howie Roseman's bologna ponies in his mouth. Adam SCHEIN also seems to eat up a lot of what Howie ROSEMAN had to say. Hmmm....(I kid I kid). But really though, there's no excuse for a national writer to be this much on our side. I know I believe all of this, but I'm a homer who still drinks the Kool-Aid.  Adam's either playing a game of journalistic Devil's Advocate to get more clicks, or incredibly stupid to agree with us overly optimistic Eagle fans.

Fuck it....he's totally right. Even if he does look like Zach Braff with a Home Improvement haircut.

Now I know that this is pretty well-worn territory, but I feel compelled to speak up as a blog that leans on racial humor as a crutch features some colorful material. You know what, internet? There are some things I just won't tolerate. Very high on that list: Hitler Mustaches.

Michael Jordan, I know you're Michael Jordan. But I think you still live in this fantasy world where it's 1996 and Space Jam is still a big deal and everyone loves everything you do. The truth, Michael, is that you're really just a former basketball player.

Not a motorcyle rider/team owner, not a baseball player, not a golfer, not a professional gambling....person, none of this. You are a dude that was really good at playing basketball at one time. Maybe the best. But you were still just a basketball player. You know what that means? YOU CAN'T WEAR A HITLER MUSTACHE LIKE ITS OKAY.

You know why? Cause when the all-time leader in worst person ever has one unique feature about them, the person that later adopts that unique feature looks like an asshole.

And you look like an asshole.

This is the semi-racist giveaway of the family-friendly Reading Phillies.  I'm not sure who signed off on this, or thought a Ryan Howard lawn jockey garden gnome was a good idea, but you can have your own at their August 3rd game.  [philly.com]


Regardless, all gnomes are creepy little buggers.  And yes, I'm looking at you David.  Without Swift, you were NOTHING.