"I hope he gets cancer like me." Classic.

Although the second episode of The Onion's new Comedy Central show Sportsdome was more disappointing than the first, irrational Phillies fanaticism got a full segment. Can't give it a bad rating now I guess.

"I hate how he smiles like he's playing to win friends. Just play, Scumbag."

I've been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever. Sportscenter, ESPN's flagship program, has gone under-parodied for decades. I mean, shit, you have people who seriously write The Herminator into a 5 minute segment and don't have to face public ridicule? Fuck you.

Enter The Onion's SportsDome. Comedy Central (and their weird new logo) will be premiering the show tonight at 10:30 EST following that half hour where the channel uses a green screen and voodoo to give Daniel Tosh a full head of hair.

Anyway, The Onion is the best thing on the internet (seriously, why are you even here?) and I'm ecstatic to have it in my idiot box. Which also happens to be how my mother told people that she was pregnant with me. Get Sportsed!