USA! USA! USA!

The Three Lions can lick my three balls. Yeah...you didn't know that about me did you?

HUGE match tomorrow.
USA vs. England.
Evil vs. The Country Formerly Known as Evil.
Cheeseburgers vs. Boiled Beef.
Democracy vs. Democratic Monarchy.
Savvy Black President vs. Stuffy Elderly Queen.
64 oz. MOUNTAIN DEWS vs. LAME-ASS BREAKFAST TEA.

Rex Ryan understands how important this is. The Embassies understand how important this is. Pride is on the line here, folks!

If we can beat these limey pricks at their best sport, we'll own bragging rights for DECADES. And we're not even using our best athletes -- they're too busy playing sports that require all four limbs. We got goddamn RAPPERS out there! If Kobe and Wes Welker were playing shit wouldn't even be close!

In closing, FUCK BP. I'm gonna be drunk by 10am tomorrow.

USA! USA! USA!