Edge vs Mubarak! Career Ending Match!

Former Egyptian President Hosni "The Mad Dictator" Mubarak suffered a heart attack Tuesday and has been admitted to the hospital. CNN is reporting that he was being questioned over corruption charges at the time.

This news comes less than 24 hours after WWE Heavyweight Champion Adam "Edge" Copeland announced his retirement from the ring due to neck-related injuries.

TWW Reporters are calling these stories into question.

Sources have reported that WWE competitor Edge was part of a covert government plan to settle international disputes through a gladiator-type form of political debate, not unlike the government's strategy used to end the Cold War with its secret agent: Rocky Balboa.

One of these men will change before the match is over.

Edge was chosen as the US representative to battle Mubarak in an electric cage match, where the winning side would officially take ownership of vital oil reserves in the middle east.

Unofficial results report that the match finished as a double-DQ when the Dudley Boyz came down to settle a score with both participants about the taxation of crude oil pipelines across international boundaries.

The Dudley Boys are secretly Canadien NAFTA agents.

So, did we miss out on the most awesome international battle of all time? Or is Vince McMahon waiting until Chanukah comes around to release the whole thing on a 3-DVD box set?

If gas prices go up again, we're looking at you, Edge.