PYT Burgers Will Eat You

That's TV's Rachel Ray shoving a miniature submarine into her cavernous mouth. If you wanted to have the same experience then you're in luck. There is a PYT Burger in Northern Liberties.  It's a destination vacation for a man looking to absolutely flush away a day's paycheck and the loosest parts of his colon.

If you take a look at their menu they specialize in creative burgers and "adult" shakes. (That is, milkshakes with alcohol in them, NOT the condition Michael J. Fox has.)

If you're not a drinker they have regular shakes for 5 (FIVE!!!!) dollars. That's a shake. It's milk. And ice cream. It's five dollars.

If the $5 shake was any indication, this place knows how to put a proper price on your inner psychotic child's idea of "having it your way".

The Burger Menu is an acid-trip of combinations that would make the Yellow Submarine proud. Take for instance:

The Krispy Kreme Burger. (It's exactly what it sounds like.) If you're looking to kill off your grandmother in order to take her house, I recommend serving her the Krispy Kreme Burger. If it doesn't give her a heart attack just by the sight of it, it should clog her throat before it bothers to reach her arteries.

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of tackling this God Awful Monstrosity. The Cheeseteak Pretzel Roll Burger:

(From their menu: "The legend, Beef patty topped with cheddar & stacked with a Philly-style cheesesteak ("wiz wit", of course). Served on a giant pretzel roll, baked fresh just for us at Philly Pretzel Factory.")

Was it good? Of course! Was it worth $12 and the ordeal of eating it with only one napkin provided? …well, it's certainly not intended for every day consumption. Especially when twenty minutes later the Congress of My Ass formally voted to declare war on the nearest porcelain chair.

After this intense gluttony session this is seriously what my toilet ended up looking like: