Prison and poetry

Indulge me. This post has nothing to do with aviation and everything to do with how the human spirit can soar.

The worship service at my church this Sunday was led by former inmates from Sing Sing, the New York State penitentiary in Ossining. What do men who have served lengthy sentences for serious crimes have to teach generally law-abiding suburban Presbyterians?



While incarcerated, they participated in a special masters degree program with New York Theological Seminary. And now they are out, "released" from the safety of the prison community. Here, in the cold, hard world of freedom, their faith is put to the test.

Listening to their testimonies, it was clear that folks who have spent years behind bars, have a rich perspective on the core concepts of Christianity: atonement, forgiveness, rebirth.

This was an unusual service for a number of reasons and in summary I can only say, you should have been there to hear them preach, pray and praise God.

But I can share with you the poetry of one man, Jafar Abbas, who led the prayer of confession, and added a poem he wrote to demonstrate his own hands-on relationship with forgiveness. I found it inspiring. I hope you do, too.

I Ain't Blamin' You by Jafar Abbas

Oh!
I'm sorry

I hope I wasn't

Writing too

Loud.

I had

Absolutely

No ideal that a pen

Could so easily break through

This forced internal silence

And set free so many

Externally loud

Noises.

I was afraid to talk about it

Even to myself

I was afraid

But I needed

To confront it right?

if I was ever

Going to move forward

With my life.

To deal with it

So I could deal

With myself.

I think I

Can tell you

About it now that

I had it locked up inside

Me for so long

I was mad at you!

I bet you didn't

Know that.

You know

We got the same blood

Well really not the same

Half of mine's belongs to Mommy

But you already knew that

Did you know

Your half still fights

With Mommy's half and

I'm still stuck in the middle

Siding with Mommy

Needing my father

Wanting my own blood.

Did you know

I didn't always like this blood

The way it ran through my veins screaming

"I should kill you!"

I didn't always like this blood

This red stuff

That made the world

Look at me and see you

"He looks just like his father."

I didn't always like this blood

This blue stuff

This you in me

I thought

It would make us

Apart of each other

How far a ---- part

From each other

We have

Grown.

Maybe

That's the part of you

That abandoned

Me

Or

The part of me

that abandoned

You?

I

Never

Told you

That I was

Scared.

I never told you

That I swore

"When I get big!"

"You wait, when I get big!"

I never told you

That I cried all by myself

That day you said

"Good-bye."

That day

My small world

Broke into a million

Confusingly tiny

Pieces.

I should have

Told you

That I loved you

And things may

Have been

All right.

But

I ain't blaming you

and its never

Too late.

I

Love you

Daddy!