Legendary British entertainer Lionel Blair has been accused of being little more than a "poodle" to fellow Brit and famed singer Kate Bush. The critisism stems from a recent agreement reached by the pair, in which Blair will serve as a warm up act during Kate Bush's latest worldwide tour. "I assure you, I went into this agreement on my own and have no regrets," said Blair in a statement last night. Ms Bush's office was unavailable for comment.

In an emotional statement released last night, British Royal Prince Harry called on Israel to immediately end its operations in Gaza. "I know these are strong words," said Harry "but what Israel is doing is Pakicide, plain and simple. Too many Paki kids are being killed and those Kikes need to stop this slaughter. Their actions are causing Sand Nigger wrath across the world. Is that really what we want?"