Looking to get laid AND a he's doctor? Well ladies, you better get in line next to all the douchebags asking for worthless autographs! This one is FAB-U-LOUSSS! Clearly I'm joking - NO ONE is sleeping with him. I just want to rip my ears off and shove them down his throat to end that God forsaken laugh once and for all. It sounds like the cackling of a hyena. Assuming that hyena was gay. If he somehow was lucky enough to meet a deaf girl, he'd still be shot down due to the fact he's awkward as fuck. I see he's going with the arms-shakily-crossed coolness vibe at the bar. Hope that works out for you buddy. I don't care how many barrels he's made his pixilated Italian friend skip over. This guy stinks.

h/t Kotaku

Looking for some shizz to get you through the life-draining work day?  Well the folks over at Tauntr.com have created this entertaining little game for us Philly fans.  Or really anyone that has 20 minutes to kill and enjoys electrocuting humans. 

Go check out the game HERE.  It's raining and it's only Tuesday - I suggest you get some type of enjoyment out of this day.

The team ratings for Madden 11 were released this weekend and the Eagles were one of the biggest losers. The Birds dropped from an overall 86 down to an 80.

An 80 overall? That's so... Denver Broncosian.

Those 6 rating points were then promptly given to the Redskins who are now a 76 in the game (which is the biggest jump in rating for any team). A 12 point swing for McNabb. Too bad they still don't have any wide receivers. Or at least ones that don't do HGH.

Anyway, Kurt Warner is more valuable to his team, as the Cardinals dipped by 8 points - the largest overall rating drop in the league. And rightfully so considering Matt Leinart is their new #1. I'd much rather have the hog killer as my starting QB. Matt Leinart might look like a fun guy to hang out with and all, but dude blows at playing football.

As a bonus, here are the ratings that have been released for the Eagles top 2 draft picks:

Brandon Graham, DE - 78 overall
Nate Allen, FS - 75 overall

You can see the entire ratings of the 2010 draft class HERE. That link actually breaks down the rookie ratings into their individual attribute. Enjoy all you extreme Madden nerds.

Now let’s just hope the real life NFC East doesn't shape up the way Madden thinks it will.