Eagles 27, 49ers 24: I Want My ShadyBackShadyBackShadyBack

The Phillies beat the Eagles in the Local TV Ratings Bowl Sunday night, defeating the long-time champs 27.7 to 24.1.

There has been some chatter concerning the implications of these numbers, some now claiming that Philly has shifted from a football town to a baseball town. Not a bad argument -- the Phillies are the only Philadelphia professional sports team to win a championship in my whole mothercursing lifetime. Others will argue that more people turned into the Phillies/Reds NLDS game because it was a playoff game and it's only week 5 in the NFL. Also -- a decent argument.

I think we're both...at least right now. The city is in a transition period where its' favorite son has been overshadowed in recent years by his much more successful younger brother (or sister). This is the closest the two sports have been in popularity in some time and we should all just be thankful that neither of these teams have been managed by anyone who had anything to do with the Sixers. Forserious.

Oh yeah, and they both won. So what did we learn from the Birds win Sunday? Well Kevin Kolb Earns his Scrilla, Ribs Ain't No Thang, Bye Bye Bunkley, King Dunlap is the New Winston Justice, Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter, We Built This City on Turn-o-vers, and Trevor Laws Wins the Game.

Kevin Kolb Earns his Scrilla - 21/31 for 253 yards and a touchdown. No turnovers. A 103.3 QB Rating. Think about how this season may play out. There are currently ZERO 4-0 teams. None. This whole thing is even more unsettled when you look at the NFC East: three teams at 3-2 and the Cowboys still waiting to join the party. So what am I getting at?

Mike Vick is going to be Mike Vick; he's going to take off and run several times a game. What's almost certain is that A) he's going to fumble sometimes and B) he's going to get dinged up. Some of this pain he can play through and some he can't: his rib cartilage being the latter. Who knows how many games 30 year-old Vick can miss in a full season? Having a Starter #2 QB like Kevin Kolb makes Eagles' wins not just easier -- but possible. KK Hogmurder just won a game in a tight division and is worth every penny.

Ribs Ain't No Thang - Another week, another fantastic performance. LeSean McCoy has shown to be the best player on the field for much of these games and against the Niners he did it with CRACKED RIBS. So for God's sake Chris Collinsworth, there was no need to crucify the kid for trying to make a smart play and sliding a bit short. Collinsworth stopped just short of calling him a "fucking asshole" on the air when that happened. Cool ya jets, turkeyneck. Shady's an effing Pro Bowler: 11th in the league in rushing, 15th in the league in receiving. Yeah, he's ahead of Larry Fitzgerald, Wes Welker, Calvin Johnson, and Andre Johnson in receptions.

Bye Bye Bunkley - Aaaand another season-ending injury. Jeff Owens got the nod to replace Broderick on most downs because of Owens' ability to play the run. You might remember Jeff Owens from such Philadelphia Eagles activities as Standing on the Sideline and Watching the Game from Home Because I'm on the Practice Squad. Prepare for the run defense to suffer even more.

King Dunlap is the New Winston Justice - Remember that game like three years back when Osi Umenyiora sacked McNabb 37 times because Winston Justice was warm and naked and scared of playing football? Well, although Dunlap's day wasn't quite as horrendous, there were stretches where he looked real bad. I know Andy, I like his name too...but maybe this guy isn't the best option to be backing up your bijillionaire laying-on-the-ground-injured-four-times-a-game left tackle. Or maybe he'll be good in three years. Probly not though.

Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter -

Ehhh 2nd or 3rd...ish?

We Built this City on Turn-o-vers - Terrible, I know. I'm ashamed of myself for first writing it, but even more so for not taking the time to go back and think of something more clever afterward. Maybe it's funny in an ironic way, like if I recognize its absolute lack of creativity? No? Okay I'll move on.

When the Eagles traded Lito Sheppard and shook the money tree at former Patriot Free Agent Asante Samuel, they knew what their team needed: turnovers. They were looking for a ball hawk CB to jump lazy routes when the opposing QB feels pressure from the blitz. Not much has changed. We traded McNabb for a new rookie Free Safety (with three INTs already by the way) and beefed up our D-Line with the hopes of creating the pressure that creates turnovers. Good work so far: 15 sacks, 8 INTs, 3 Fumble Recoveries, and a TD.

Trevor Laws Wins the Game - I wasn't as mad about LeSean sliding short of the first down at the end of the game as I was about the following 3rd and 2 playcall. Quick slant...to BRENT CELEK. Are you fartin' me, Andy? You have the fastest player in the league, a RB that's been dominating all day, and a bigger possesion receiver with sure hands...and you call a quick slant to your TE. Stop trying to be smarter than you need to be. If our defense didn't stand up and we lost that game, I wouldn't have blamed McCoy, I would have blamed the coaching staff for that dumbass 3rd down call.

But the defense did hold up, and in the next series our mustacheo'd homeboy Trevor "OBEY THE LAWS" Laws put the pressure on Alex Smith and he threw the game-losing INT as a result. This game could and would have ended up much differently if Laws didn't step up here.


They got an away-game win against a desperate team fighting for its' season. Falcons next. Will Vick play? A lot more needs to get settled before Sunday.

Go Birds.




Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images